So I have uncovered a few YouTube videos that pertained to the discussion we had last week about Sex, Gender and Stereotypes. That discussion kept me wondering. We all have gender expectation that are put on us and we carry it everywhere we go. Throughout our whole lives, we were expected to act like girls if we were girls or act like boys if you were a boy. Growing up, I was given every type of doll known to man, I had so many baby dolls I swore I was a mother of 12 (Thank God I didn't actually have to birth them all, Phew!) and I had a little barbie kitchenette with an attached washer/dryer set where I learned how to cook and do laundry. Meanwhile, my brother had the bob the builder power tool workshop and action figures. Fast forward to the present, even though we are more aware of the meaning of gender roles and we are starting to choose for ourselves what we want to be despite societal views, those expectations are still pressuring us. We may not remember how we felt about gender roles when we were younger because we weren't expose to it as much as we are now, but it made me think; how do the children of this era feel about gender roles? They may have more opinions about it than we think.
I found two videos. The first one, called "Teaching Children about Gender Stereotypes", was about a student who wanted to interact with primary school-aged children to see what they know about gender stereotypes. Our society and our family life have a tremendous impact on everyone, especially at a very young age. These children had such strong views on how boys and girls should be. The male children were adamant about what they liked and what they don't like. They said things like "Pink is for girls", "Boys don't do ballet", "Ballet is for girls because there is a lot of pink in ballet", "Boys like sports", "Girls can't play sports", etc. It was really sad to see that because children are so observant. They see everything and learn so fast! Watching and listening to what they were saying really made me realize how easy we can stay trapped in these old views of gender stereotypes because they can continue to live on as we teach the younger generation. It doesn't matter how many marches, protests, and petitions we participate in; if we don't start from the source, we will never see change. Where is the source, you ask? Our homes. Although media makes a strong impact in our lives, nothing makes a bigger impact than what we observe in our homes every single day. If we demonstrate and teach our children that they can do whatever they put their minds to regardless of their gender and that they don't have to follow traditional gender stereotypes, then slowly but surely we may diminish the gender stereotypes. Thankfully by the end of that video, the student read the children a book that taught them a very good lesson on gender stereotypes. They responded very well to it and soon thought that it is okay for boys to like "girl" things and for girl to like "boy" things. This just shows that kids will take in anything you tell them. It's so easy to mold them, so why not teach them the best way to live and to interact with other people so that we can change societal views in the long run.
In the second video I watched, called "How Gender Stereotypes Affect Boys and Girls", what resonated with me the most in this video was how gender stereotypes affected boys specifically. We all talk about how women feel about gender stereotypes because we are very vocal and emotional, and we tend to express more than men. Men, on the other hand, aren't as emotionally expressive unfortunately and that causes significant negative effects because they don't have an outlet. Instead, they just conform to what society thinks a man should be and continue to feel sad inside. Boys have to deal with society telling them to "Man up!", "Stop crying!", "Stop with the emotions", "Stop being a pussy!", "Grow some balls!", "Be cool and be kind of a Dick", etc. A lot of boys that do not want to conform to the manly stereotype because that is just not who they think they are, feel very insecure about themselves. At a young age, some boys aren't really ready to "Be a man" and they just want to be whoever they want to be. Dr. Michael Kimmel makes a very good point in the video when he said that our idea of what a man is does not give a way for a boy to feel secure in his masculinity and the way we make him show his "security and manhood" is by going out and proving it to everyone all the time. The way they go out and prove it is by showing aggression and acting out. When that happens, we just think that the boy is a bad kid, but really, society made him that way and it did not let him explore his own masculinity in his own way. The reason why most boys act out in aggression is because they do not know how to express themselves in any other way because any alternative to aggression isn't manly. From this video, I learned that this can cause a boy to develop severe depression and self-esteem issues where they start to have suicidal thoughts, they don't seek help because it is not manly to ask for help, they feel ashamed and humiliated when they don't act manly enough, and etc. It's really sad and surprising to see that men are this deeply affected by stereotypes. This really shouldn't be surprising because regardless of gender we are all still human and we would all feel and think the same way if we were hurt physically and/or mentally. Unfortunately, we're just not conformed to seeing men in this light. But seeing this in front of me finally put it in my radar and made me understand that we need to change gender stereotypes not only for women but for men too. Women are not the only ones that can be weak, men can too. We all have weak points and putting this unnecessary pressure on ourselves and everyone else just makes this all worse.
Comment below and tell me what you guys think about this. Do you think women are the only ones getting the short end of the stick or do men also need a little freedom from these gender stereotypes?
I'll link the videos below so you can see for yourselves and develop your own opinions about this.
Stay strong, Stay beautiful and Stay empowered!
Love,
Rosely
Teaching Children about Gender Stereotypes
How does gender stereotypes affect Boys and Girls ?
Great video finds! I like your thoughts on how gender stereotypes are interpreted by children. It is funny how hard we can try to not gender stereotype our kids, but even when we are trying to not gender stereotype them, we still are. (Does that make sense?!) My daughter has dolls and tools. We encourage non gendered play, and yet when she's playing with her cousin (male), she always wants to play family and he wants to play construction.
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